Humility is the act of diligently seeking the lower place and serving others. Brené Brown offers a nuanced perspective on humility, distinguishing it from pride and hubris. She describes humility as openness to new learning combined with a balanced assessment of our contributions, including strengths, imperfections, and opportunities for growth. The term "humility" originates from the Latin word humilitas, meaning "groundedness."
Brown's emphasis on "new learning" resonates deeply when considering humility. Humility is not merely a trait to aspire to but a practice - an ongoing process of growth and self-awareness. In our communities, the true essence of humility, groundedness, and continuous learning often gets overshadowed by superficial notions propagated by motivational posters and self-help apps. What if we reframed humility as a skill that can be developed through intentional learning and self-reflection?
It's essential to differentiate humility from self-pity or victimhood. Self-pity, often rooted in self-righteousness, leads to a downward spiral of isolation and elevation. In our communities, a growing focus on self-centeredness undermines genuine humility. When personal happiness becomes the sole pursuit, we risk losing sight of deeper connections and communal well-being. The pursuit of happiness, devoid of genuine joy and belonging, leaves us feeling exhausted and disconnected from others.
Isolation and loneliness breed defensiveness and self-protection mechanisms, inhibiting empathy and humility. Building ideological walls may offer a false sense of security but does little to alleviate loneliness or foster genuine connections. Acknowledging our vulnerabilities and experiences of hurt allows for genuine growth and transformation. As James A. Baldwin, an American writer and civil rights activist, observed, clinging to hate often stems from the fear of confronting pain. Humility can serve as a powerful antidote to self-pity, victimhood, and hate.
Personal experiences of humility, such as trying new hobbies or navigating unfamiliar cultures, provide valuable insights into the human condition. Reflecting on my recent trip to Costa Rica, where I confronted language barriers and cultural differences, offered great lessons in humility. Immersed in a foreign environment, I experienced feelings of vulnerability, embarrassment, and smallness. Yet, this humbling experience cultivated empathy and understanding for others navigating unfamiliar territories.
Ultimately, humility is not a static trait but a journey of self-discovery and empathy. Embracing humility allows us to connect authentically with others, fostering genuine compassion and understanding within our communities.
Here are some areas I would encourage you to focus on in the week ahead when it comes to creating humility in our communities:
Seek first to understand through active listening and seeking feedback: Take the time to truly listen to others without interrupting or formulating your response while they speak. Pay attention to their perspectives, experiences, and emotions, and approach conversations with an open mind. Request feedback from peers, mentors, or supervisors on your work or behavior. Embrace constructive criticism as an opportunity for learning rather than a personal attack. Actively seek ways to improve based on the feedback you receive.
Practice gratitude: Cultivate a habit of gratitude by regularly reflecting on the things you're thankful for in your life. Acknowledge the contributions of others and express appreciation for their efforts. Recognizing the role of others in your success fosters humility and appreciation.
Admit mistakes: There is true power in the admitting of mistakes. Acknowledge and take responsibility for your mistakes without making excuses or shifting blame. Embrace failure as a natural part of the learning process and use it as an opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow. Apologize sincerely when your actions have caused harm or inconvenience to others.
Serve others: Engage in acts of service and kindness that benefit others without expecting anything in return (hesed). Volunteer your time, skills, or resources to support causes or individuals in need. Serving others shifts the focus away from oneself and fosters empathy, compassion, and humility.